she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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