Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
