STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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