my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
