your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
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How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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