i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
