Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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