i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
