eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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