so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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