i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
