I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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