Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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