Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
