I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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