11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
