are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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