So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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