now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
