I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize