You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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