So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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