what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
