Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
