Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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