I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize