Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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