I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
