Jerry, you need to find god
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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