those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
