Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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