we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
