so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
