i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
