Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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