You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
