His pubic hair was longer than his dick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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