Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This baby is an asshole
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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