Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
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Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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