she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
