haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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