I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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