and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
