Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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