Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
