can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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