who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
