margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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