He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
