He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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