She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Randomize
