so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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