Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
