jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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