it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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