I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
