I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
