Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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