this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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