im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he high fived his dick after we had sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
