Yo dont text me then not text me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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