I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
