seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
