She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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