man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
