Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
