the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
