he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
